


Vanessa Uses Reverse Psychology

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M, MAJOR DEADPOOL 2 SPOILERS, Vanessa/Wade is not the main ship but is a large part of the plot, Wade Needs Love, but it might become sexy in the future, ignoring the fact that Vanessa is Copycat, is rated m for violence not sex, major fluff, so does piotr, trigger warnings for suicide and other touchy subjects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 22:24:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "The power of suggestion is a force to be reckoned with, Russell. You ever been told you'd look cute with someone? Or someone assumes you're in a relationship with someone you definitely don't even like that way? Or has your dead girlfriend ever jokingly told you not to have sex with that person you definitely don't like that way? And then you try to examine why those people think you'd like that person that way, and realize you actually might like them that way?"





	Vanessa Uses Reverse Psychology

The time following the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation incident was rough. Wade thought he was going to be okay, Ness had wanted him to be there for his family. She had told him their time would come soon enough. Returning to his F-word was bittersweet. Until he learned that Winter Soldier Knockoff's time device could be fixed. He could fix everything, it would be perfect. But he was wrong, so very wrong. It was like when you bite into a candy expecting a sugar explosion but instead you're met with unpleasant citrus that bites back.

  
His first spin back was to save Vanessa, of course. Then he saved Sugarbear, then Wolvy from that monstrosity that the company had dared called Deadpool, and then he saved the general public from the misfortune of Ryan Reynolds starring in the worst film to grace the Earth. Most importantly though, Ness was safe and sound and back in his arms.  
Back in his arms until the next morning, that is. When he reluctantly let her slide from bed and take a hot shower. He slipped back into the deep lull of sleep until a loud bang startled him awake. By the time he had vaulted over the couch and skidded into the bathroom, blood was pooling in the middle of the floor. His girl's head was split open, her body limp and lying in the middle of the tile. The blood streaked on the corner of the countertop confirmed that she had simply misstepped and slipped...and left Wade alone again.

  
Obviously, he was going to go back and just keep her from getting into the shower. She would be fine. So, he rewinded again and saved her from both the bullet and the shower. Instead, she choked on a Poptart. The movie rolled back, and he stole the last treat for himself to keep her safe. On the way to the liquor store the Über was t-boned by a city bus. Again and again he saved her, and again and again she died in a new way. There was no escape. Everything he tried failed. Stay in bed all day? Apartment downstairs left their oven on and started a fire that trapped the duo and forced them to burn. Maybe going to a nearby hotel and camping out to watch cheesy movies would be safe? Wrong. He leaves the room for only a moment to piss and the Murphy Bed folds in and crushes her.

  
Sadly, dear reader, life nor stories are not without conflict and sadness especially when the author is an overall shitty person. The device was running out of juice, and every new image of his dead girlfriend was engrained in his mind so sharply it was all he could see when he closed his eyes; even when she laid in his arms, heart beating as strong as ever. After the twenty-sixth time (he had been counting, it wasn't easy to forget the numbers when every death was so crystal clear in the forefront of his mind) he turned back just to talk to her about the situation...he didn't trust anyone else to discuss it with. She took the news surprisingly well....and while she was at first hesitant, she urged Wade to let nature take her course. Obviously, Fate had other plans and those plans didn't include Vanessa...at least not a living Vanessa.

After much convincing and several persuasive kisses, he turned back once more to let the original plot run. The writers of Deadpool 2 were very adamant in leaving Wade Wilson a broken and utterly alone soul. Or at least that was Wade's opinion. He was never truly alone, not when his F-word lurked behind every corner.  
\--  
Shortly after arriving back in his natural timeline, the Biebs and Pinkiepie had caught him, Inhibitor Collar in hand, attempting to reboot it. In hindsight, he should have been more subtle in his repairs. Colossus assured him that his carelessness had been from something deep within that wanted to keep him alive. Wade called bullshit, he didn't want anything more than to have the single luxury of being able to accept death.

  
To keep him safe, they locked him in a room where he could be monitored until the wave of depression passed. He had been torn, between immediately faking a jovial attitude just to get another chance to jab at the collar or moping in self pity. When Colossus had come in, collar resting in the palm of his hand, and then decisively crushing it, Wade chose the latter option. Of moping. He stopped talking, stopped eating, stopped moving, he simply laid there and stared into space or slept. Just because his body couldn't die, didn't mean his mind couldn't either.

  
Everyone in his F-word visited him, even the Negasonic Bitch and Firefister. Neither of them could pull so much as a smile out of him. His most frequent visitor had been Colossus, the X-man had dedicated himself to guarding his door to make sure he didn't get out and try something stupid again. He tried to comfort Wade with his words, tried to pull him together and wake him up. Even when he received no response, the Gentle Giant's patience and love (the platonic kind of course) knew no bounds. He brought the Merc fresh food every day (the shitty kind like vegetables and bread, although Wade would have rejected even burritos at this point), spoke to him in a reassuring manner, and even played dubstep for him. After it would all inevitably fail, Colossus would pull up a chair and silently read beside him refusing to leave his beloved friend in his time of need.

 

\--

  
It wasn't until nearly two weeks of this near catatonic state that he finally began to speak again, then slowly but surely move. Currently Wilson sat on the floor of the room he had been provided. His back pressed against the wall nearest to the door, legs stretched out, shoulders drooping low. He was surprised Colossus hadn't heard him maneuvering off the bed and to his current position. The man was hypervigalant. His eyes rolled from floor to ceiling, to door, and back down again to the floor. The room was devoid of a window, his door was bolted shut from the outside, the only source of light was a harsh bulb in one of those hotel nipple ceiling lights.

  
Despite his desire to talk, his desire to avoid talking to Colossus was stronger. The Buff-Silver-Surfer had two topics in mind, helping him move on and helping him 'reach his full potential as an X-Men'. The Vanessa shaped hole in his heart would never be filled, but she had been on his mind for every second of every day for the past twelve days. Her comforts repeated in his head like a broken record until he finally decided that he couldn't just waste the family he had now. If he and Vanessa had swapped places, he definitely wouldn't have wanted her to do what he had, he would have wanted her to cherish what they didn't have as kids. Plus, he probably would have been too busy fucking Elvis to notice her doing the hankypanky with Colossus...right?  
Another reason he was trying to avoid conversations with the Iron Giant. Every time he saw him, her words were sharp and clear and confusing as ever. Wade was extremely flirtatious, that was just his nature, that didn't mean he was genuinely interested in every person he flirted with. It was just so easy to slip into compliments and innuendos, especially around hunka hunka burning loves (thinking of which, Ness was definitely doing her thing with the singer, and that in itself brought him a sense of strange comfort).

  
Before his inner monologue could continue, multiple locks clicked outside the door before it was opened. In walked Russell, red hoodie on, tan khakis, and his typical pout. Wade got a single moment to glance out the door before it was shut on him, the hall was devoid of any other life. Ironic for being a supposed full house...err, mansion.

  
\--

  
"The power of suggestion is a force to be reckoned with, Russell. You ever been told you'd look cute with someone? Or someone assumes you're in a relationship with someone you definitely don't even like that way? Or has your dead girlfriend ever jokingly told you not to have sex with that person you definitely don't like that way? And then you try to examine why those people think you'd like that person that way, and realize you actually might like them that way?" Before either of them knew it, Wade was blathering on like a filterless idiot. He was draped across the solitary armchair, one forearm across his forehead, the other across his stomach legs hanging off the side of an arm, ankles crisscrossed. Russell sat awkwardly on the bed, perched on the side like he was ready to flee. Wade really hadn't of even been talking to the boy, he was simply talking outloud and reciting rhetorical questions not allowing Russell a word in edgewise. If the man hadn't of been just coming around to his old self, the teen probably would have slipped out without even being noticed. But both were quietly relieved that he had begun chattering away once more.

  
"Who exactly is this person you're definitely not having relations with?" Russ finally inquired when the merc took a moment to breathe. The sarcasm was clear even through the heaviness of his accent. Wade's spin stiffened and his breathing stopped for a moment, before he shakily laughed, "I wasn't talking about me. It was just a theoretical situation. A story to teach you to be strong against suggestive forces, like uhh, gay porn." The eyeroll his response was met with was almost audible. Russell muttered a simple 'okay' and waited for Pool to move on. "Jeez kid, you trying to break my leg here? Fine, it's Ironman with his tight Buns o' Steel." It wasn't technically a lie, Ironman would have been a great alias for Colossus.

**Author's Note:**

> My first Deadpool fic, so my apologies if characters seem out of character (if it's terrible then please feel free to give me pointers)
> 
> Sidenote; I may rewrite this to better fit my style (I tried to flip through the events quickly as a preview but it damaged how I write, I believe) depending on your guys' feedback! All criticism and corrections are greatly appreciated : )


End file.
